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Actual Injury Reports By Keith Sullivan (

A few years ago, I worked in a military hospital where one of my duties each day was to review the injury reports generated in the emergency room. In each patient’s own words, here are some examples of serious injuries which warranted a visit to the emergency room.

Two male hamsters were fighting over a female when I tried to separate them and was bitten.

Opening bottle of champagne when plastic cork ejected and struck my left eye dead center.

During a racquetball game (doubles), my partner and myself went for the ball. Both rackets hit the ball with my head in the middle.

Got in an argument while playing basketball off base, he pushed, I pushed, then I hit him in the head.

Lifting deep fat fryer pot with hot grease inside and it hit the side of the machine and the grease jumped out and burned my arm.

I was shaking a RC soda up in the west yard when I threw the can up into my teeth. It chipped my tooth.

I was trying to sleep during the day time as I was on 12 hour shift and the night shift when my dog started barking . This kept up for about 10 minutes when my temper got the better of me. I got up half asleep, walked into the living room and kicked my dog.

I was lying around the house when my dog noticed a fly on the wall. He immediately reacted and leaped at the fly becoming entangled in the speaker wire above me causing in a natural chain of events in which a large speaker landed on my head causing injury to my person.

I was walking along the side of the swimming pool (indoor) at the base gym (in Utah) and stepped on a seashell of some kind which cut me on the instep of my left foot.

My wife and I had a domestic squabble and I was struck on shoulder blade and back of neck with broken lamp. Also, I stepped on shattered glass cutting left foot.

While playing softball I fell on my right shoulder. The injury happened on a softball field.

Cut on pipe, severe wound. Severe PAIN! End of sewer pipe. Jagged end. It hurt.

While riding an elephant at Salt Lake City zoo, the dirty beast decided to sit down, causing me to fall, temporarily dislocating my left knee.

I was on duty at Valk Field, Wisc. I tried to gain an advantage point at the edge of the flight line and a tree limb broke dropping me onto my back approx. 12 feet.

At home, I was working on my car. The door spring gave way and struck me repeatedly about the body.

Was reading newspaper and walked into lamp post on Southeast corner of new barracks north of hospital.

I was doing some running at about 0200 hours (2:00 AM) to stay in shape without shoes so my feet will get hard for karate around the barn or the stable down the side of the road. I stepped on a whole bunch of stickers, I stop pulled some out and came to the E.R. (emergency room) at 1430 hours (4:30 AM) same day.

And finally, my favorite:

Did not see B-52 (8 engine, 400,000 pound bomber) and walked into it.

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